I didn’t really think about my values until I became a coach.
Sure, I had a sense of my general direction in life – a mix of what I’d call my morals or gut instincts – but I didn’t realise how deeply values shape our decisions, our behaviours, and how we feel day to day. Nor did I know that values can change over time. And that we have the power to actively live by them – if we choose to.
Working as a coach, values now come up in nearly every conversation. Most people have never named their core values, yet they feel the impact of living out of step with them – at work, in relationships, in their sense of fulfilment or motivation.
How do you discover your values?
There are lots of ways. A simple place to start is a free online tool like the Personal Values Assessment. It walks you through a list and helps narrow it down.
But sometimes we need more than a list. You can use prompts like:
- What achievements are you most proud of?
- When in your life have you felt energised, fulfilled, or “in flow”?
- What annoys or frustrates you most in others?
These help dig into what really matters to you, rather than what you think should matter.
Narrowing your values down to a top five takes time. You might end up with similar ones and need to ask: If I had to choose between X and Y, which one comes out on top?
Once you’ve found your core values, the real question is – Are you living by them?
That might mean:
- Using your values to make a decision at work.
- Thinking about a potential new job and asking, “Would my values be met here?”
- Noticing which values you’re willing to compromise on – and which ones are non-negotiable.
My values
For what it’s worth, mine are:
Freedom, financial security, authenticity, curiosity and health.
I did the Personal Values Assessment myself and it gave me more than just a list of words. It reflected back what I already knew deep down, but hadn’t properly named until recent years.
It showed me that I prioritise a mix of personal well-being, freedom, and learning. That I value independence and want to make my own choices, in both life and work. That authenticity and health are non-negotiables for me — I want to feel like I can be myself and look after myself, and I expect that in my relationships and working life too.
It also confirmed that I need space for growth — curiosity and self-development matter to me. I don’t want work that just fills the hours. I want it to feel purposeful. To make a difference in some way.
Seeing all of that in black and white was oddly reassuring. Not because it was new, but because it matched where I’ve got to over the last five years. Since leaving full-time employment and doing a lot of self-reflection and development, my life feels far more aligned. I know when something is “off” and I know why.
That’s the power of knowing your values. They don’t tell you what job to do, who to live with, or how to spend your time. But they help you make decisions that feel right – for you.
And once you know them, you can’t unknow them.
Finding your values
If this has resonated with you and you’d like to find out what your values are and how you can live your life by them, then book a call with me and let’s have a chat about working together.
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