You want more. A bigger role, a seat at the table, the chance to shape things rather than just deliver them. You want to move into senior leadership in Further Education, even if you’ve never quite said that out loud. You look at the leaders above you and think, I could do that.
And then the other voice pipes up.
“It’s not the right time. The kids are still young. I’ll go for it when they’re older. I don’t tick every box on the person spec anyway. What if I turn into one of those hard, cold leaders? What if there’s a family emergency and I’m stuck in a meeting with the Principal? Can I really be a senior leader and a good mum?”
If you have had that conversation with yourself, you are not on your own. This is the fear zone, and I know it well. I lived in it for a lot longer than I needed to.
I was 38, a single mum with two children, and I wanted senior leadership. I was good at my job and I knew it. But I was convinced that stepping up meant letting my children down, and that fear kept me firmly stuck.
Stuck on the way to senior leadership in FE?
There’s a simple model that lays out exactly what’s going on. I like it because most people see themselves in it the moment they look. Four zones: comfort, fear, learning and growth. We move through them every time we make a change, and once you can see them, you can spot precisely where you’re stuck.
The comfort zone is the treadmill. You know the role inside out. The SARs, the QIPs, the timetabling, the open evenings, the same cycle year after year. You can do it standing on your head. It feels safe. It’s also flat, and you know it.
The fear zone is where most capable women in FE get stuck, and it’s the sneaky one. Doubt creeps in. You worry what people will think. You fixate on the one box you don’t tick instead of the ten you do. You make excuses, and here’s the catch, they are usually very logical excuses. It feels like being sensible and practical. Most of the time it’s fear dressed up as logic.
The learning zone is where it moves. You take one small step. You have a conversation, ask a question, test an idea, get some support. You stop thinking about it and start doing something. Confidence doesn’t turn up first and then let you act. You act, and the confidence follows.
The growth zone is the seat at the table. You’re shaping strategy, making the decisions you’ve been frustrated about for years, doing the thing you came into FE to do in the first place. You’re stretched in a way that energises you rather than drains you.
I’ve moved through these zones more than once, but the one that matters here is the first big one.
At 38, I was an Employer Engagement manager. Single mum, two children aged 10 and 13. I was ambitious and I wanted senior leadership. And I was parked firmly in the fear zone.
My fear wasn’t whether I could do the job. I knew I could do the job. It was this: how could I be a senior leader and a good mum at the same time? I was doing it all on my own. No partner to share the school run, no backup. Taking on more, the evening meetings, the bigger pressures, felt like it could only come out of one place, and that place was my children. So I did exactly what you’re doing now. I told myself it wasn’t the right time. I waited. This isn’t really about feeling ready for senior leadership. It’s about fear.
What got me out wasn’t a grand plan. A colleague was doing their coaching qualification and needed a guinea pig. I said yes, mostly to help them out. That coaching changed everything. It was one small step, not a leap, and it moved me out of my own head and into doing something. Two years later I was an Assistant Principal.
So how do you get out of the fear zone?
Not by thinking harder. You cannot think your way out of this, the pros and cons list will still be sitting there at 3am. You get out by doing one small thing.
Break it down first. Don’t think about the whole leap to AP or VP.
Think about one action: a single conversation, a bit of research, an honest chat with whoever supports you at home. Then go and get the evidence, and this is the big one. You are making up stories. You assume the women above you with families must have waited until the kids were older, or sacrificed everything, or turned hard and cold. You don’t actually know any of that. So go and ask. Find three women in senior FE roles and ask them straight: how do you make it work? Stop guessing and start asking. Test it in a low-risk way. Apply for the role just to see how it feels. Volunteer for the project that stretches you. And get some support, whether that’s coaching, a mentor or an honest conversation, something that untangles the thinking and gives you a bit of momentum.
Which zone are you in right now?
Be honest. And then the more useful one: what is one step you could take in the next 48 hours? A message to a senior leader you admire, a coffee booked, an honest conversation at home, a list of what actually matters to you. Anything that nudges you from fear towards learning.
I didn’t leap. I edged forward, and that was enough.
I work with experienced women in FE who want to step into senior leadership without sacrificing their family life, because I’ve been exactly where you are. If you’re ready to stop thinking and start doing, book a call with me below.
Book a call with me
We’ll talk about what you’re looking for and whether coaching feels like a good fit.
