“Don’t deny yourself the things that make you happy.”
This has been my mantra for years. It’s what I write about and talk about with everyone. It’s what guided me through transforming my life over the past five years—establishing my coaching practice, embracing a healthy lifestyle, finding my partner, and building my business. I passionately remind people every day that life is too short to be stuck in a job that makes you unhappy.
But recently, my coach turned this wisdom back on me with a powerful question: “What purpose does your rebellious voice serve?”
I had to pause and really think.
My Sweet Rebellion
My problem wasn’t with my career or relationships—it was chocolate. And cake. And biscuits. Despite all my progress toward a healthy lifestyle, this one area remained stubbornly unhealthy.
The evidence was mounting: cholesterol results all too high, waistline expanding weekly. While my weight stayed the same and the rest of my body looked great, my increasing belly fat was becoming uncomfortable.
This was particularly frustrating because I’d successfully transformed my body five years ago. I had the knowledge. I knew the nutrition principles. I understood how to work out effectively. I had both knowledge and experience.
Yet my rebellious voice was consistently the loudest when faced with chocolate hob nobs. Despite morning promises that “today will be different,” I’d find myself reaching for the tin and devouring three before I even realised what was happening.
Oh, the instant gratification! The taste, the genuine dopamine hit—followed immediately by the crushing realisation: “I’ve ruined my day… again.”
The Ironic Twist
Here’s what finally clicked: my rebellious voice was actually echoing my own mantra, telling me, “Don’t deny yourself the things that make you happy.”
Except this particular “happiness” was ultimately making me unhappy.
A New Approach
Now that I understand this pattern, I’ve changed my strategy. Every time my rebellious voice gets loud and urges me toward the mini eggs or chocolate hob nobs, I write instead—about what that voice is saying and how I can counteract it.
Just yesterday, I heard the familiar craving, found myself reaching for the biscuit tin, but then consciously redirected to another cupboard and chose 10g of dark chocolate instead. It satisfied my sweet craving, and I felt genuinely proud of my achievement!
Reframing My Mantra
My journey has taught me something important: mantras need context. “Don’t deny yourself the things that make you happy” is powerful guidance when applied to life’s big decisions—careers, relationships, purpose.
But when that same principle gets hijacked by momentary cravings that work against our deeper wellbeing, it’s time to dig deeper and reframe.
Now I ask myself: “What will make me truly happy—not just for the next two minutes, but for the rest of today and beyond?”
Sometimes that’s still chocolate—just a mindful portion that satisfies without sabotage.
What about you? Do you have any mantras that might be serving dual purposes in your life?
